Fringe Box



I’m An MP Get Me Out of Here!

Published on: 24 Nov, 2016
Updated on: 28 Nov, 2016
A picture of Cronus Tweeted by the former chancellor, George Osborne

A picture of Cronus Tweeted by the former chancellor, George Osborne

Many of us are used to watching trials of endurance on television from the Australian jungle but there is an office in the Palace of Westminster with its own creepy-crawlie challenge and it is one that Guildford MP the Rt Hon Anne Milton has to face every time she talks to her boss, the government’s chief whip Gavin Williamson.

It has emerged that Mr Williamson whose job, along with his deputy Anne, is to keep the Tory rank and file in order, keeps a pet Tarantula on his desk. When invited to explain why they might be considering voting against the government what could be more off-putting to a potentially rebellious party member than the presence of a giant, eight eyed, double fanged, arachnid?

As if anything needs to be added to the terrifying image, the chief whip has named his eight legged pet “Cronus” after the Greek mythological character who castrated his father and ate his children.

Rt Hon Anne Milton MP

Rt Hon Anne Milton MP

So what does Anne think of her boss’s wee beastie? “I couldn’t possibly comment.” she said. Hmm… we guess that’s not too keen then.

Fellow Tory MP Clare Perry told the Daily Politics TV programme that she was sure that: “Our wonderful deputy chief whip, Anne Milton, will keep Cronus on the straight and narrow.”

Relief was thought to be on the horizon. MPs are not allowed to have pets in the palace and the sergeant-at-arms was thought to be marching down the corridors of power to arrest the hairy beast.

But The Sun newspaper was told: “The Commons authorities were told in no uncertain terms that Cronus was staying, as he is government business and this is not a Commons matter.

“The point was also made when they remove all the mice here, we may then think about removing Cronus”.

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Responses to I’m An MP Get Me Out of Here!

  1. Mary Bedforth Reply

    November 25, 2016 at 7:23 pm

    What a boring and trivial story.

    Better to talk about Osborne’s legacy at the Treasury. He is definitely not one of the ‘JAMs’. He is on the lucrative speaking circuit now.

    US speeches made George Osborne £320,000 in weeks

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