Letter: The Driverless Bus

Published on: 29 Mar, 2019
Updated on: 29 Mar, 2019

Burchatts Barn – Photo Mandy Millyard

From Gordon Bridger

In response to: Burchatt’s Barn Saved for Community as Objectors Win Change-of-Use Refusal

Congratulations to the ten members of the GBC Planning Committee who overturned not only the advice of their leaders but of their planners as well.

Doubtless, they kept in mind the unprecedented level of public outcry over their rejection of Guildford Shakespeare Company’s bid for the barn and, even worse, the decision that a Grade II listed building, left in perpetuity for community use, be leased to a commercial company – all for a few thousand extra pounds per annum.

The meeting was like an ill-fated bus journey. It started to go wrong when passengers joined the bus with tickets they had already used for their trip to the Executive where they “predetermined” (according to the questionable GBC interpretation of the law) their decision on Burchatt’s by voting to rubber stamp the leasing decision. It went something like this…

The Driverless Bus

A sad, short story (but with a happy ending).

It was a dark and barn stormy night. Bus passenger Furniss was worried. He was used to taxis where you told the driver where to go and those in the back had to put up with it. But this was a bus. “Could we just turn around and go back to the first stop by the barn again so I can er, check parking arrangements?”

The other passengers were amazed. What was he on about? Anyway, passenger Furniss should know the first stop, in his own back yard, very well.

“We’ve got a timetable to keep to sonny,” bus inspector Moseley told him firmly. She was scary.

Passenger Spooner was also worried. “Er, can we just have some more time to look at the passenger numbers?” Some of his mates were enjoying the ride and agreed, “Yes, let’s make it last a bit longer.” It was time for the inspector to put her foot down.

“You’re having a laugh!” she said, “Too late for that. What do you think this is, the never ending mystery tour to Brexitville? Well it’s not! And I’m the boss here!”

“What a bloody rabble!” she muttered and asked, “Now, is there anyone else that can drive this bus?”

Up jumped driver Christiansen, “I’ll do it!” I know where we are meant to go,” he said, “Who drew up this route plan? It’s all wrong! Never mind, I’ll get you there!”

The oncoming headlights bounced off his sizeable cranium. Just how big was that brain?

Nearly all the passengers seemed happy to trust him. Suddenly, passenger Furniss shouted: “Wait for me! Mum and Dad will be very cross if I miss the bus.”

“What about us?” shouted passengers Spooner and Reeves through a cloud of diesel fumes as the bus roared off. “You’re leaving us behind!”

“Too late!” shouted the inspector out of the window. “It seems we aren’t heading where you wanted to go!” THE END

Members of the Conservative and Liberal Democrat groups might be wondering how their leaders got them into such a mess and why? The administration needs to investigate why councillors were not advised that change of use for the barn would be a problem. The advice they appear to have been given was patently unsound and sadly discredits the planning department as a professional service.